5 Months later

Well, it's been 5 months since I've posted here and things have been up and down to say the least. I've made some progress in a lot of areas, but really, nothing that makes things any better.

I have, however, decided to stop complaining and start changing. I've been on a bit of a job hunt, but moreso internally. I'm trying to create me role in the company and then grow into it. It's weird, I have been successful in some areas, but not in others. Yet at least now I know I'm learning. That makes me happier.

So I'm going back to what this blog was supposed to be-- Me talking through things and learning from them. Maybe if someone decides to read this blog, they will see something of themselves here too.

So....

I had this program that I have to kick off, it was something I've done before but I missed something that was really important. I had all the pieces lined up, things were moving forward and on-schedule I thought, until the VP stepped in and put a stop on a key piece for me. I learned then that I had a problem-- Not that the program kick off was at risk (that was fixable), but  I had missed the piece of getting the buy-in from the other key stakeholders in the company. I had reached out to the operational people in each group and the work was getting done, but the exec level just wasn't understanding how much progress we had been making.

It was a simple fix (a bi-weekly meeting would have done it) but it was a step that I missed. And for the life of me, I don't know why. It may be because I was up to me unmentionables in trying to get work through for FY end, or it might be because it just never occurred to me. Either way, it was learning experience.

I'm finding myself looking for permission to do things that I should just go ahead and do. And I need to get myself to a place where I am confident enough to move on things I know are right and then get it done. I think that is the key to really moving up, but am I right??? . Is it about not just creating the solution, but executing on it?

 Ironically, it seems circular. You start by just doing the work, then you manage the work, then you create the solution, now I'm back to executing on the solution I create. Is that what exec management is? Create AND execute on the plan? Or is there still something I missing?? Or am I know at the "get it done" phase of a new level? I dunno, but either way, it was a good learning experience for me.

The more things... well, stay the same

It's been almost a month since my last post. I intentionally left it as such because I wanted to really get a sense of how things have been over the last while. I'm basically trying to create the outside view for myself. God love the internet for helping.

There have been 2-3 good days, but the rest pretty crappy. Things are bad and getting worse potentially. Namely because something I've been saying for 6 months is finally happening, and that sucks.

We have no work.

The sales team has closed 1/5th of the amount they need for us to break even and we're 1/2 way through our fiscal. The math ain't hard to do. What does that mean for us management-types? Well... it means we're being forced into pushing the projects we do have so the teams have work. Under any other circumstance the decisions that are happening now would be chastised and almost mocked for being so outrageously stupid. But I'm learning that when you're light on work, the stupid becomes the prudent pretty fast.

And that piece is new, basically everything I've learned and been told in management seems to have gone out the window. I'm sure it's because people are panicked and stressed, but still... A bad idea when times are good may still be a bad idea.

What I'm not sure is if this is the norm in organizations or if this place is an anomaly. I've never worked in a place where the sales team has had such little success. And really never had that be the problem of the operational side of the organization. Maybe that's the joy of a small company, but it sure doesn't feel that way now. I liked the lack of bureaucracy when I came her, it was refreshing. But I wasn't counting on the added amount of panic that seems to go with it.

Small companies need a special type of management team for sure, but can the group that builds also sustain and grow? Or do different people need to do that? And which one am I?

My favorite Leadership quotes

I'm trying to remind myself of the things I used to use and believe. So here's a compilation of my favorite quotes from leaders. I'm hoping it reminds me to get things done the way I need to.

It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.
Nelson Mandela

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.
Peter Drucker

Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.
Colin Powell

You don't lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.
Ken Blanchard

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
Harry S. Truman



Get mad, then get over it.
Colin Powell

“Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers who can cut through the argument debate and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand.” 
― Colin Powell

How do you know when you're done?

How do you know when you're done? I mean really done. The kind of done where just walking out the door with the resounding sound of "Fck it" is the best option for you?

I guess if you're asking the question, it's probably close, but how do you know for sure? There are bad days everywhere, and that's to be expected. But when is a bad day, or a bad project just that?? And when is it just time to realize it'll never get better and to get the hell out???

That's my dilema. My gut says get the hell out, but my logical side is saying that I can stick it out and have it get better. But I dunno. These last few months have been horrible and I've absolutely hated where I work. But is it an anomaly or is it the way it is? The problem is no one knows.

People tell me never to make big decisions when times are bad. But I tend to think that how people react when how you are treated when times are bad is what really shows how people's true colours. If times are bad and people rally to help, it's great. If times are bad and people take the opportunity to kick you then that shows you're not working for leaders, you're working for a jackass.

So, I dunno. Am I done -- it feels that way. But maybe the place just needs a leader who'll chose to pick people up, not kick them. And maybe it's time for me to be that person.

Or, maybe I should listen to my gut and get out. The band still played on the Titanic as she was sinking. And the conductor wasn't a leader, he was someone who just didn't realize the true gravity of the situation. I don't want to be the guy who was conducting the band on the Titanic.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

The last few weeks have caused me to really take a hard look at where I am and what I really want to be when I grow up. I'm having the corporate dilema of not really knowing where I should be career-wise. And I'm combining that with the self-doubt of is it me, or the situation??

It's a shake to my confidence I've never had before. I have always believed that with enough work and learning from my mistakes I can figure out any job. It's not that I won't screw something up, it's that' I won't screw it up twice. That mentality has served me well. I'm not afraid to take on a role and I'm willing to accept responsibility when something goes south. Because then I can fix it and make sure it never happens again. But in my current role, it's just not working. Namely because even when I change things I seem to still be off the mark. I've been here 2 years and there's been a lot of work, but only minimal real success. Especially when you balance it with that I see as a profound lack of success.

I'm not sure if it's just me or a bigger issue.... Is it possible that I Just Don't Get It? Is there actually something TO Get? Or is the whole situation so messed up that I am really making the best of a crappy situation??? I really wish I knew.

It's tempting to assume the latter because it makes it not my fault. I tend to be somewhere in the middle. I don't think I really don't get it, but I do know I'm not really getting it either.

It comes down to a new dilema for me of what do I want to do vs what are my strengths vs what do I think my strengths are. And are those 3 things close to being aligned. For the first time, I just dunno.

Ahh the glory of Executive Panic (a.k.a White Knight Syndrome)

It seems to happen on a random schedule at the worst possible times --- Executive Panic.

We all know what it is -- When the big VP comes in and starts looking at programs only to realize that things aren't (and are never) exactly following the Utopia processes that exist. It's not that you were completely ignoring them, or that you didn't know. Sometimes life in the trenches mean you have to work around some things to get the job done.

The problem is that Sr Leadership are fine when things are going smooth, but when things get complicated, they come in and start hammering you because you did it. For me, it happened when a project went a little south. Ironically it didn't ever blow up the way Sr Exec think, but everyone seems to want to believe it did. The problem for me as a manager is that now I not only have to manage the team through the issues, but I also have to manage the Exec trying to be White Knights who want to come in and save the day.

I particularly like their use of Buzz words like:

• foster collaboration
• swat team the issues to a positive conclusion
• rally the troops to the success of the project
• understand how we can set this group up for success and support them

It's as if for the last 3 months I'd been ignoring the fact my team wants to be successful. The real irony was that after one of our "collaboration call"some members of the team were asking why the Exec were there and what the panic was all about.

That made my day.

So, as things start to calm a little, and the Exec are off panicing about something else, I am actually right back where I started from a project perspective. The issues I've escalated are still escalated, not resolved. And now I have the added work of picking up the pieces left by the Exec White Night as they move off to foster collaboration somewhere else in the company.

The Briggs and Riley Carry-on

One of the things I wanted to add to this site is some reviews and recommendations for gear. Mainly based around travel, but really anything I think I like...

The first one of these is the Briggs and Riley Wide Body Expandable carry-on

Briggs and Riley Carry on

It is the best piece of luggage I've ever bought. I can go all week and not have to worry about space or having to wait for luggage at the airport. It fits in the overhead bins on every aircraft without any issue. I particularly like the suitor that's built in to the cover. It's convenient and solves all the issues of business travel.

It's a pretty basic bag, which is really it's strength. It has just enough pockets to organize things but there's very little wasted space anywhere on the bag.

It comes with a lifetime warranty against everything (including Air Canada) and more importantly it can take the rigours of travel and still look professional.

Don't get me wrong, it's expensive, but it's worth it. Buy it early in your career because it will pay for itself dozens of time over as you beat around the continent trying to make a living and be successful.

More reviews to come, hopefully better written than this one.

Some times the weirdest things hit home

Ever had a weird thing just hit you and make sense?

With all the things that have been going on in the office, the weirdest thing hit home. I was watching an episode of Mad Men and an off-handed comment by one of that characters made me just realize what I'd been missing.

(if you don't watch Mad Men, then a. start, b. the rest of this might not make sense)

There was a debate about doing an ad for a customer and one of the characters said something like, "it's not just about the client, everyone is looking at us, we have to be better." Essentially saying that quality is the only measure of success that matters. And quality will lead to money.

That one line made everything clear for me. I always knew we were being watched and our quality is the most important thing to us, but it was always trumped by what the client thinks they want. In some cases they know and we just do it, but in some cases they are relying on us to guide them. I'm wondering how often we've missed opportunities because we missed the chance to show people what "excellent" could look like.

Maybe it's a moot point, but for me it made all the sense in the world. When you can get your entire staff to think that our quality is our only measure of success, then you really have something impressive.

Now all I've got to do is convince everyone else. And shift how they think. Oi.

What do you do when you know you're up the creek?

What do you do when you know there's a project that will probably cost you your job? I can't walk away and I can't do anything about it.

For those who say "you can always do something about it" well... You're right, partially. I have this program that will blow up. I know it will blow up, I've told Sr Leadership it will blow up, I've escalated and highlighted the risks, and I'm managing through it as best as possible, but I know that will will go south and that's completely beyond my control. Mainly because the client should be fired, but people just won't do it.

See, there's a big opportunity with this client in one of our other lines of business, but my piece is not, and historically hasn't been good. It was really bad when I took it over and I managed to salvage a success that opened up more opportunities. However, I see the same path happening this time. So I'm being proactive, but I think, in the end, it will all be for naught.

Here's hoping I'm wrong. But the train is a coming and I'm feeling strapped to the tracks.

Five things I hate about travel V1

Everyone else has lists, so why not me?

1. No upgrades. Nuff said.
2. Snow birds who fly 4 times a year but have loud opinions and complain about those of who pack carry-on because we take up all the space in the overhead bins. I’m sure that they’ll talk about it on every round of golf and shuffleboard for the next 3 months.
3. People in the security line who wait until they are at the scanner to undo shoes, empty pockets and rummage through their bag for their liquids and laptops. It was a long line, you had time.
4. People who complain about the express line in security. Those of us in the line spend a lot of time in airports. You’ll still get to Disneyland on time, don’t worry. I’ll probably be in the exact same line again tomorrow.
5. When something goes wrong at home and you just can’t cut your trip short. It’s one of those things that’s bad enough that you want to come home, but not bad enough to really justify it. And some times, schedules just won’t allow it anyway.

Some trips just suck.

Ever had one of those trips where everything went wrong at the same time at the office? And you’re trying to put the fires out from 4 time zones and 4000 miles away? It sucks. And throw some things at home that cause stress for your partner, and by proxy you, and it amounts to the trip from hell. (There’s also the issue of crying babies on the plane and no upgrades, but that’s minor in comparison).

Some times it’s just not worth being away. Whatever chance I had of getting a little enjoyment from this trip Karma has beaten out of me like I said something nasty about its mother.

I had great meetings planned with great customers in warm destinations. And because of the way the flights work I’d even managed a morning off to relax by the pool at the hotel. Oh well. I’ll get home and sort things out eventually, but it still sucks. At least I have a great wife who can handle it. It still sucks.

On the road again

Well, after 60,000+ miles and 62 flights last year, this year is shaping up to be the same or worse. I was pretty successful at delaying the start of my travel, but as of Monday, I’ve started again. I figure I’m in for 60,000-70,000 miles this year and possibly more than 100 flights. But we’ll see. I really hope I’m wrong.

A lot of people tell me how they envy those of us who travel for business. Well, I can honestly say, they shouldn’t. I rarely get more than 1-2 days in a spot and most of my time is spent in airport lounges and meetings.

It is nice to get to try different restaurants, and see different cities (from the taxi window) but for the most part there’s more pain than it’s worth. Hopefully this year things will be fairly stable and eventful on the road.

There are some perks like air miles and elite status with hotels and airlines which are nice. And I do get the odd chance to have supper with friends who live away which is a plus for sure. But all that being said, there’s a price that those if us on the road pay, whether it’s missed birthdays, family events or just missing a spouse. Either way, it adds up. Sometimes you get to share some of your “perks” like upgrades and lounge access with your partner when you actually go somewhere on vacation, maybe even give the in-laws the free Airport Lounge passes so they relax when they travel. If you’re really lucky at the end of the year you have a zero-balance with your spouse and nice, relaxing Christmas together. Here’s hoping to break even.

Yes, I wear a Rolex

Ok, I realize most people find this odd, but...

I spent a pile of money on a Rolex. A stainless steel GMT II to be specific. No I didn't pay retail, but it was a lot. Why? Because I liked it and I've always wanted one. I'm also a "Watch Guy" and would like to start a collection. It will be VERY slow to build, but...  So, I saved a little at a time for over a year, and then I had a good bonus year -- I was doing sales at the time -- and I decided to get myself a Rolex (yes, my wife approved-- I ain't that stupid).

So why am I boring you with this???

It's not to show off--- I could care less if anyone ever knows I wear a Rolex -- It's for me, not them. But a few days ago, someone at the office noticed I was wearing it. Which is odd, because I've been wearing it every day I've been there, but anyway...

I got the, "is that a real Rolex?" question. I confirmed it was. Then I got the "must be nice." And I never really know how to answer that... I guess it is... But the part I find odd, is that the same people will talk about their cottage and motor bike and never blink an eye... Both of which cost a LOT more. Am I a snob for wearing it? And if people think that, do I care??

Don't get me wrong, people have noticed and commented before -- even at the office-- but usually they are also "watch guys" and it starts a great conversation. But somehow, this one stuck with me a bit.

I look at it like this... I don't have a summer home, I don't drive an expensive car, we don't have kids, or a boat or a bike. So this is for me. It's the only jewelry I wear.

Don't judge the template

Ok, I know the template is lame. Don't judge me. I'll fix it when I know what I want the blog to look like.

The first time.

Well, they say the first time is the most special. And this is the first post of I hope many. Not sure anyone will ever read them, and I'm not really sure I care. A big piece of this blog will be me actually putting things out there for all to see and therefore me also.

There's something cathartic about just putting something on paper (even virtual paper) because I find the things that seem to bother you most are never really that bad when you take the time to put it out there. Kinda like how a good rant seems to make you feel better -- It's not that anything changed, but you now that you've said it, got it out there, it feels better.

This blog won't be a series of rants, but if you get me to this point, you'll love this blog. And maybe even see something of your own stuff here too.